Lyrical Geniuses, Musical Madness, and Ipod Adventures

I love music. Rap, country, punk rock, musicals, you name it. This said, songs with clever (or ridiculous) lyrics make my day. Especially when there are sneaky allusions or jokes thrown in there.

1. Lil Wayne, Weezy whatever he wants to be called, boy's got rhymes.

"Im so official all I need is a whistle" - Forever

"I'm so hot you probably catch a tan around this mutha--" -Steady Mobbin'

"Watch me like DVD VCR" -Run This Town

"I go to work on a beat call it employ" -Run This Town

"I'll erase you like I drew you b---" -T.O./N.O

2. Drake

"money flowin like a slit wrist no bandage"

"outta this world though, im so SciFi and i dont sit still

i keep it movin like a drive-by"

"me and Wayne lean like Kareem doin hook shots"

-I'm Goin' In

"Last name ever,
first name greatest,
like a sprained ankle boy I ain’t nuttin to play with

swimming in the money come and find me, Nemo,

labels want my name beside the X like Malcolm"

-Forever

(a guy in my summer school class introduced me to the Rikers Island Redemption mixtape...i'm obsessed.)

3. Nelly (not only is he a gorgeous specimen of man-hotness, grillz is probably one of my favorite songs. of any music.)

"I'm changin grillz everyday, like Jay change clothes"

"I got a grill I call penny candy, you know what that means?

It look like now and laters, gum drops, jelly beans"

"I might cause a cold front if I take a deep breath"

"Open up my mouth and you see more carrots than a salad"

"call me George Foreman 'cuz I'm sellin' everybody grills"

-Grillz

4. Casey Donahew Band

"You're kinda like a moped, fun to ride around, but if my friends should catch me then I'd never live it down

And you'll never hold my hand and I know we'll never kiss,

Cuz you're just the last phone number on my late night telephone list Well I'll be calling all my beauties from 2 o'clock to 3 Expect a call at 3 15 if none of those are free, And when that phone starts ringin' you best be on the move, Cuz I know if I'm callin' I've been drinkin' 90 proof"

-Late Night Telephone List

(horrible? yes. hilarious? yes.)

5. Bowling for Soup

"Troy Aikmen wants you back
Willie Nelson wants you back
NASA wants you back
And the Bush twins want you back
And Pantera wants you back
And Blue Bell wants you back"

-Come Back to Texas

(i think this wins for the most allusions)

anddd that's enough of that for now.

Now, there are certain artists that are in my itunes that will probably make you shake your head. But come on, everyone has those few guilty pleasure songs left over from the 90's or songs that you bought just to get them out of your head. These are the songs that when they come on shuffle when you're with other people you practically have a seizure trying to change the song, and often you are pleasantly surprised when your comrades (sorry, communist russia?) know/like the song.

1. Jesse McCartney- Leavin'

2. Miley Cyrus- Party in the USA, Can't be Tamed

3. Enrique Iglesias- Tired of Being Sorry

4. Jo Jo- Get Out

5. The Jonas Brothers- S.O.S (i just cringed)

6. Hawthorne Heights - Ohio is for Lovers

7. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone

All of these songs are ones that you crank when you're in your car alone and they come on shuffle, you know it's true.

Speaking of cringeworthy tunes, songs that make me want to kick a puppy

1. Miley Cyrus- The Climb

2. U2- Vertigo

3. Los Lonely Boys- Heaven

4.Weezer- Beverly Hills

basically anything that was played ad nauseum in 8th grade.

now if you were to take a little Magic School Bus (if you were raised in the 90's you got that one) ride through my itunes how long would it take you? to get through all 4,084 songs would take you 10.6 days. wow. 1.1 days of that would be rap and 1.9 days would be country, 2. 4 days would be rock/poprock/punkrock/britrock/alternative. 2.6 hours would be disney. fact. and who knows how the rest would be classified.

This itunes library has been a work in progress for probably about 5 years now. besides the fact that it is contained on my laptop, losing this would be a crisis. almost as bad as dropping your 160 gig ipod classic into a rushing river of water on the street in the middle of one of houston's torrential downpours. Oh wait. done that. Apple won my undying loyalty when I went into the store with my deceased ipod after blow drying it, sticking it in a bag of rice, and doing whatever I could to revive it. (Note: Ipods cannot swim.) I had very little hope that Apple would be able to help me because my ipod was so waterlogged if you held it up to your ear you could practically hear the ocean. Nonetheless, I went to the Apple Store and decided to play dumb, while still telling the truth. I told the lady that it had stopped working and started freezing and making this horrible grating sound. My heart pounding as she held it to her ear and said,

"Oh, yeah that's the sound of your hard drive failing."

"Oh really?"

Maybe that's because it has water and small fish swimming around inside of it. Not only did she not hear the ocean, but she discovered that I had EIGHT DAYS left on my warranty. I walked out of the Apple Store with a brand new ipod. Apple: 0, Hannah: 1